Emotional eating: How to manage self-sabotage after weight loss

Dr Olubunmi Aboaba looks at the key factors behind self-sabotage and how to manage emotional eating after weight loss.

After losing weight, managing emotional eating is a vital step towards maintaining health. At this crucial point in recovery, it is necessary to support clients to avoid the risk of sabotage. Self-sabotage refers to the process of repeatedly engaging in behaviours that are detrimental to health. These can include smoking, drinking and, for many people, emotional eating. Furthermore, it has been documented that those with complicated relationships with food will engage in self-sabotaging eating habits for other reasons, including negative mood, fatigue and boredom¹.

Throughout the course of this article, I will work through some of the key reasons behind self-sabotage: food addiction, the phenomenon of craving, deficiency-induced mental health struggles, fear of leaving a spouse behind, issues with boundaries, trauma and abuse, fear of failure, fear of success and low self-worth. It is my endeavour to highlight the counterproductivity of allocating blame. Therefore, when I say “why”, I am not looking for specific reasons, I am looking for the complicated layers, interconnectivity and multifaceted nature of self-sabotage in the context of overeating. As a recovery coach, working with many individuals overcoming the challenge of addiction and disorders, I discovered one key thing: the client’s understanding of emotional triggers and willingness to work with changing long-standing patterns of behaviour is key to success in achieving a healthy weight and lifestyle goals². While wellness professionals have nutritional and physiological skills and meticulous workout plans, sometimes this is not enough.

Clients with complex relationships with food may need an approach that seeks to resolve the issues at the heart of their problems; that is how to end the cycles of self-sabotage. Analysis taken from my own experience and key research on the topic will provide valuable insight into the nature of self-sabotage. I will therefore offer evidence-based approaches to managing emotional eating. The complex interplay between sabotage and food is subject to a variety of causes. The nine key factors that – in my experience – increase the likelihood of self-sabotage include food addiction, the phenomenon of craving, deficiency-induced mental health struggles, fear of leaving a spouse behind, issues with boundaries, trauma and abuse, fear of failure, fear of success and low self-worth². Throughout the course of this article, it will become clear that none of these key factors can exist without the other; they are inextricably linked. Therefore, wellness professionals supporting clients through emotional eating must utilise empathy, nuance and expertise.

The most obstinate factor that those who take part in emotional eating experience is the struggle of food addiction².

The most obstinate factor that those who take part in emotional eating experience is the struggle of food addiction². This form of addiction refers to the compulsive pursuit of mood change by frequently and repeatedly engaging in episodes of binge eating. People may do this regardless of possible negative outcomes, both physical and psychological.

Goodman defines addiction as “a process whereby a behaviour, that can function to both produce gratification and to provide escape from internal discomfort, is employed in a pattern characterised by loss of control and continuation despite significant negative consequences.”³

The societal perspective on food addiction is highly complicated and indiscernible from wider issues related to fatphobia and the pressures to look a certain way⁴. As such, those who experience food addiction may experience judgement from those who are unable to understand the mental health element of their behaviour. Once wellness professionals understand the nature of their clients’ behaviours, they are in a far better position to start developing an understanding of the patterns which trigger self-sabotage. Therefore, even considering emotional eating as a manifestation of addiction is a helpful first step towards supporting clients.

An element of food addiction that leads to emotional eating is the phenomenon of craving. Meule defines a food craving as “an intense desire to eat a particular type of food”⁵. This type of self-sabotage is sustained at the physiological level. The phenomenon of craving is a “tissue hunger”², as a certain substance or chemical in the chosen food may be triggering a specific response in the reward system of the brain. This manifests as an insatiable yearning for certain types of food. The activation of dopamine receptors through food consumption has a reinforcing effect, as it consolidates memory traces of reward reception in the events leading up to the spike in dopamine⁶. As a result, wellness professionals need to support clients in unlearning the memory muscle associated with certain types of food. It does no good to blame clients for the inner workings of their brain. Instead, it is more effective to develop an understanding of the specific cravings of a client, whether that be sweet, salty or fatty. Understanding the dopamine reception and how it exists uniquely in each client will highlight situations that put clients at most risk of self-sabotage.

Those who experience extreme cravings are likely to develop unhealthy eating habits². Therefore, in pursuit of fast weight-loss results, they might cut certain food groups out of their diet entirely. This in turn can lead to deficiency-induced mental health struggles such as depression or anxiety, which facilitate the perfect conditions for comfort eating. Underlying physical and mental health conditions feed off this approach to weight loss and so people can end up in a vicious cycle of cutting foods only to binge on them later down the line⁷. Deficiencies in key nutrients such as omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins, vitamin D and minerals such as zinc and magnesium can lead to depression². Regulation of mood is of the utmost importance, as irregular mood increases the likelihood of emotional eating. When working with clients who have gone through cycles of craving and cutting, it is necessary to take a closer look at how these behaviours affect their overall health and where they stem from.

While there are internal factors that lead to emotional eating, it is also crucial to consider external social pressures. When a person loses weight, this can lead to a change in relationship dynamics, whether that is with friends, family or – most pertinently – partners. Problems are particularly likely to erupt for clients with a partner whose eating habits are triggering. Many couples have experienced negative consequences, including arguments over food, nagging about diet and exercise, and annoyance about time consumed by workouts and food prep. A health and lifestyle change can therefore be a source of relationship tension. The relationships that take place within the domestic environment play a vital role in a client’s likelihood to self-sabotage. On the extreme end of this spectrum are issues such as abuse and emotional manipulation². However, it can also be as simple as a partner or close family member not being aware of triggers that undermine recovery⁸. As such, it is imperative as wellness professionals that we include and empower the families of those working to manage emotional eating.

When clients are struggling with external pressures and triggers, it is important that they learn to develop healthy boundaries. The act of saying “no” can be an intimidating prospect.

When clients are struggling with external pressures and triggers, it is important that they learn to develop healthy boundaries. The act of saying “no” can be an intimidating prospect. This is due to a variety of factors, including fear of social judgement or lack of self-esteem. Those who self-sabotage through emotional eating are likely to find that temptation crops up on a day-to-day basis. Therefore, it is imperative to teach clients what healthy boundaries are and how to introduce them into their lives. Learning to prioritise health and wellbeing can be difficult, particularly when for many people sabotage can come from a place of low self-esteem. If a person already dislikes themselves, it can be almost impossible to encourage them to stand up to those in their social circles, whether this is at work, home or in wider social settings. Solutions to this particular problem can be as simple as politely declining certain foods or having the knowledge to offer alternatives.

While it is worthwhile looking at the impact of saying “no”, it is also necessary to look deeper and understand why boundaries haven’t been established in the first place. If a person has experienced trauma or abuse, the nervous system can remain in a chronic condition of stress, oscillating in and out of traumatic states². As such, they are unable to develop the protective layers that reduce the impact of triggers. This can lead to food and substance abuse and other high-risk behaviours to calm down the mind and dissociate from the body. Dissociation makes it impossible for people to feel the bodily cues telling them that they have had enough. The disconnect between physical and emotional behaviours leads to more of the self-destructive habits, in turn reinforcing the panic or high and low moods, triggering a higher need for more self-destructive soothing in the form of comfort foods⁹. When wellness professionals highlight this vicious cycle of trigger and dissociation, they can empower clients to break free from emotional eating.

In addition to trauma and abuse, my own experience with clients highlights how emotional eating can stem from a fear of failure. For many, this fear of failure tends to operate on a subconscious level and they never realise that it is the real thing holding them back. This fear of failure creates a wall, stopping clients from moving forward and attempting to reach new goals. A client’s ‘wants’ remain as ‘wants’ and this undermines their ability to reach their true potential. This is because the driver of the situation is something greater than their desires and that is the power of the fear of failure. There is a psychological benefit from remaining stagnant. If a client tries and fails, their social circle may become disparaging about this failed attempt. For some clients with low self-esteem, it is better to not even try at all than to endure, yet again, the repercussions of their perceived failure. As a result, the levels of stress, guilt and shame can trigger the subconscious, causing the brain to undermine progress. Past experiences frequently become a roadmap for the future².

If people have set up grandiose future goals of running a marathon, cycling across the Sahara or taking part in a 24-hour dance contest, it may seem less daunting to simply remain unhealthy.

While fear of failure is widely understood, emotional eating can also take place due to fear of success. If a client is successful in instigating long-lasting change, any number of fears could be realised. All too often I hear the phrase “Once I lose the weight I will finally …”². This perspective is used to comfort and protect clients from taking action on a greater level. If people have set up grandiose future goals of running a marathon, cycling across the Sahara or taking part in a 24-hour dance contest, it may seem less daunting to simply remain unhealthy. Even if a client’s big dreams and ‘motivations’ are milder and more achievable, the thought of buying a new wardrobe or finally meeting someone special can seem formidable and so self-sabotage creeps in. The uncomfortable feelings such as self-doubt, regret and disappointment can be avoided if – through emotional eating – the client never makes an attempt in the first place. This is why it is necessary to encourage achievable short-term goals, as well as larger long-term ones.

Both fear of failure and fear of success are steeped in lack of self-worth. The dictionary defines self-worth as “a feeling of confidence in yourself that you are a good and useful person”¹⁰. Those who feel undeserving of success are far more likely to self-sabotage as they do not believe themselves to be worthy of saving. People prefer to be consistent and congruent. Usually, actions line up with beliefs and values. This means that, when they don’t, discomfort arises. This concept is known as cognitive dissonance, when what’s going on on the inside does not reflect what’s happening on the outside. The easiest things to change when the inner view of oneself is low self-esteem are the external factors – such as diet and exercise – to project a lower external self-image. Cognitive dissonance and poor self-image is often why, when clients start to make progress, carrying an inner self-image that they are worthless or incapable, they stop putting in effort as an attempt to avoid dissonance². This can mean cancelled personal training sessions and eventually ghosting of engagements with those who could give them access to help. They believe, after all, that they do not deserve support and so they are unable to manage emotional eating.

Clearly, there is a huge variety of factors that can – if left unchecked – lead to emotional eating. Through learning about the intricacies of each of these key factors, it is possible to provide greater support to clients. Furthermore, an understanding of the way these areas interlink highlights the complexity of food addiction and the behaviours and external factors that lead to relapse. Throughout this article, I have highlighted the nine key factors that, in my experience, lead clients to self-sabotage: these are food addiction, the phenomenon of craving, deficiency-induced mental health struggles, fear of leaving a spouse behind, issues with boundaries, trauma and abuse, fear of failure, fear of success and low self-worth. The reductive assumption that desire for food is limited to physical hunger undermines the nature of humans. Complex beings require thoughtful, intelligent approaches. Therefore, when dealing with clients who are at risk of emotional eating, it is far more crucial to understand ‘why’ than ‘how’.

Check out our client handout on the FitPro blog on mindful eating

REFERENCES

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2. Aboaba B. The Food Addiction Coach: 10 Things Your Clients Do. 2020.
3. Goodman A. Addiction: definition and implications. British journal of addiction. 1990 Nov;85(11):1403-8.
4. Montemarano V, Cassin SE. The effect of a food addiction explanatory model of eating behaviours on weight-based stigma: An experimental investigation. Eating Behaviors. 2021 Apr 1;41:101507.
5. Meule A. The psychology of food cravings: the role of food deprivation. Current nutrition reports. 2020 Sep;9:251-7.
6. Volkow ND, Wise RA, Baler R. The dopamine motive system: implications for drug and food addiction. Nature Reviews Neuroscience. 2017 Dec;18(12):741-52.
7. Wu Z, Schimmele CM. Food insufficiency and depression. Sociological Perspectives. 2005 Dec;48(4):481-504.
8. Moore DD, Lin C, Cooper CE. A Need of Further Training for Marriage and Family Therapy Students on Food Addiction and Related Eating Disorders. The Qualitative Report. 2021 Oct 1;26(10):3046-66.
9. Zimmerman AA. The Link Between Dissociation, Eating Disorders, and Self-Harm. 2014.
10. Self-worth noun – definition, pictures, pronunciation and usage notes: Oxford Advanced American Dictionary at Oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com